Archive for the 'Dumbness' Category

December 1, 2010

People! Do Your Own Homework.

This morning I got a Google alert about my second novel, Thou Shalt Not Dump the Skater Dude. I don’t know why I still have this alert set up. The book’s five years old and when I do hear from Google, it’s usually because someone has decided to put their copy up for sale on Amazon or Ebay for a nickel (plus shipping).  But every once in awhile it’s because someone’s blogging about it or recommending it or something nice like that and so I don’t delete it.

But today’s Google alert makes me think maybe it’s time. It led me to a site called Cha Cha, where lazy and stupid people ask questions like “Why do split ends happen and what exactly are they?” (Didn’t know they assigned research papers in Cosmetology school)  and “Who is leading the NFC east in the NFL?

I don’t know the answer to either of these questions off the top of my head but I’m certain I could find more reliable answers elsewhere on the Internet in less time than it took for those people to go to Cha Cha and type them out.

The Skater Dude question posted was “Do the characters end up together in the end of the book Thou Shalt Not Dump the Skater Dude, by rosemary graham?

Dude. I get that you aren’t a big reader and you have this stupid book report due tomorrow and you have better things to do with your time. But why not just open the book to the final pages and see for yourself?

And to the person who googled “Is there any metaphores in thou shalt not dump the skater dude?” Here’s your answer:






June 3, 2009

Sherman Alexie Takes a Meeting

Sherman Alexie–who is on Amazon’s list (probably, you know, somewhere at the top of the list) of *most-requested* authors whose fiction is not available electronically–has generously agreed to meet with Amazon officials and listen while they beg him to reconsider.

June 2, 2009

Two Questions for Sherman Alexie

From today’s NYTimes: “At a panel of authors speaking mainly to independent booksellers, Sherman Alexie, the National Book Award-winning author of ‘The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian,’ said he refused to allow his novels to be made available in digital form. He called the expensive reading devices ‘elitist’ and declared that when he saw a woman sitting on the plane with a Kindle on his flight to New York, ‘I wanted to hit her.'”

What I would like to ask Sherman Alexie today:

1. Did you have an iPod, iPhone or laptop on you at the time that you found yourself wanting to hit the woman using her $359 Kindle?

What I would like to ask him ten years from now:

2. Still refusing to let publishers put your books in digital form?


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